Tag Archives: loss

A new year

Posted on by
Reply

2025 was one of my hardest years.

We were filled with hope for my sister Ellen’s recovery. I did not get my Christmas wish. In 2025 on Dec 3, she went to join her three little birds who had been with her throughout her journey. So now – 4 little birds.

On Dec 3, 11 years ago I lost my Mom. Three years ago, I lost my baby brother. So now both the “little kids” have joined Mom and Dad. We lost Dad in 1988 – the year that was supposed to be great! Good people, the best people. It seems surreal. My life will be changed.

BELIEVE was a word Ellen and I embraced.

Believe in what? That is relevant and ever changing: hope? a great Christmas? love? recovery? We may be disappointed… heart broken even, but we keep believing. Although difficult beyond words, I believe. I believe Ellen is still believing with me. I believe my loved ones are still with me. I believe I will connect with them always. And, of course it is not just the four little birds, but all who are no longer here; all who I can only communicate with through consciousness.

I tell you this because:

What happens in my life, my experiences affect my art. My Mother, my Dad and my brother have all made their presence known in my paintings. I do not know how or when Ellen will, but I know she will. I also know she wants me to get back to work. She wants us to live our best lives. Beyond that…

I need to work.

Through my work I search for this belief that the world will awaken and connect to the universal consciousness. That humans will acknowledge that as mindful beings we are all more alike than not. I believe. I hope.

DIGITAL PAINTINGS

I completed two paintings for my participation in the LACDA Electron Salons this January and February.

“December Portal”
“December Portal” has barely recognizable images of my Dad, Mom, brother and sister.
This is a new addition to my work that I will continue to explore. I use portals for my connections to consciousness. For this piece it seemed a natural addition: with the hope that they are spiritually exploring the portals of the universe; with the loss still so raw and connection so needed.

“December Portal”
fine art print of digital art painting on archival paper, 30in x 36in (image: 26in x 32in), ©2026

“Portal Guide”
“Portal Guide” speaks to the gentleness that I am looking for in these portals. All the good qualities of consciousness, of being truly present and accepting of other mindful beings in a universal way. It is on display at LACDA this month.

“Portal Guide”
fine art print of digital art painting on archival paper, 30in x 36in (image: 26in x 32in), ©2026

I have been participating in the group digital art exhibitions, “ELECTRON SALON” at the L.A. Center for Digital Art | 410 South Spring Street | Los Angeles, CA 90013 US

YOU can support myself, my art
and an LA gallery
by purchasing a print. 

appreciation

Posted on by
Reply

Referencing this post from 2019.

I marvel at the things I can do now that I took for granted before my health issues; and I am starting to take for granted again. Simple things – like standing while dressing, and going up and down stairs effortlessly, and laying on my right side. I will probably never be able to do the lifting I used to do, and will always need more assistance installing an exhibition than I used to . . .  My brother can’t help me anymore — he is with Mom and Dad and… But this day at The Art Center Highland Park (TACHP) was so awesome installing with Efram and Caren Helene-Rudman, the awesome curator at TACHP on the left and of course my indispensable brother — PAL — with me on the right.

Fast forward to 2024… I have been so grateful for Brooks Bahnsen stepping up as my exhibition installation assistant. We had quite a busy year in 2023. More about that later.

Back to the original post:
Crawling on the floor to paint is difficult  — so when I can, I adapt …

Appreciation: I so love the movements of dancer, Ellyanna Hope Anderson — movements that I cannot emulate but can appreciate, that I can paint — movements I can feel in my soul, and attempt in the swimming pool! — in my mind anyway . . . I look forward to working with Ellyanna again. Her passion for movement (and the perfection of it) has made me more aware of how important movement is in my art. It has always been there, and I suspect will continue to play a dominant role in my work and the implementation of my artistic visions . . .

And, I am reminded of the young man from Idaho, who said, “look Mom, when the colored lights change the dancers move.” I have great appreciation for all who take the time to look at, to interact with, to experience the art I present.